Are you aware :: we have willpower all wrong?
Well, we likely do - stick with me…
Nerd tip :: we often think of willpower as having control, restraining impulse - but - the part of our brain that exerts willpower is actually monitoring of conflict.
willpower coexists w/ struggle
>> push, pull / push, pull / push, pull <<
It’s been proven, the moment we fail or give up, allowing willpower to win or lose - we stop paying attention to the conflict.
However, willpower remains active when we’re aware of the struggle.
What increases our capacity for willpower?
Forcing ourselves to do the hard things that keep us in conflict.
(even when knowing it’s hard / we don’t want to / it could induce pain)
making time to exercise :: today
resisting alcohol / sugar :: today
preparing for that meeting :: today
Battling the conflict itself strengthens us!!
So, how can we conquer the draining feeling of conflict?
Our brain must cultivate understanding,
>> the risk / benefit ratio <<
Pro tip :: sit with the consequence of our action - good or bad.
Research proves - giving our brain the space and time to assess reinforces the behavior, allowing it to flow naturally.
If negative, don’t shame - do a retrospect ::
what went wrong
what went right
better understanding where the desire comes from
+what got in the way
When positive, our brain will support continuing the behavior.
Science proves awareness precedes control - we must be aware of the conflict to even begin strengthening our will!
So, next time we’re feeling weak or in a rut…
- take a moment -
can be as little as 2-3+ minutes - improving our awareness of what we have going on.
Noticing the behavior and let thoughts bubble up…
was it good
was it bad
what was hard about it
This is when the magic happens ::
>> behavioral reinforcement <<
our internal understanding that it was worth it (if positive) vs. if negative, how we can use our awareness to wake up tomorrow and follow through!
Give it a try and see how strengthening your willpower makes you feel!!