Are you aware :: our instincts push us into fight-or-flight, even freeze mode when experiencing emotional overwhelm?

Have you ever experienced the heaviness of a personal or professional relationship, so much so - it broke you down?  In reflection, you didn’t recognize the human that made an appearance? 

My (short) story… I broke out of my typical, and decided it might be smart to explore the ‘good on paper’ partner.  We just made so much sense (again, on paper).  

However, throughout the experience my spirit was literally broken, crushing the human I had grown to love (me!!); a lot of personal stress as you can imagine.

In reflection, during this time - I was fully numb … a behavior I soon learned was a protective mechanism.  

I wasn’t able to show up for my family, for my friends … the one thing I did show up for was my career - super dialed in + working really long hours, insert :: avoidance.

Nerd tip :: our amygdala (frontal portion of the temporal lobe) gets hijacked, literally stops working when we experience an emotional overreaction response to stress, activating our fight-or-flight instinct and disabling all rationality.

So, how do we rise above in such a seemingly heavy situation?

We are the architects of our own healing.  

Choose not to coexist within another’s limits - only your own.

We can do bicep curls for our brains in forms of positive experiences - rewiring the negativity and building new pathways that allow for joy to bubble up naturally.

Following are (3) tactics that have worked for me in lifting myself out of heavy life hiccups; may not be your way, but it will get that beautiful noodle ruminating on what may work best for you!

(1) Make a change.

If it is a toxic situation you are involved in (personally or professionally), it is crucial to change your circumstance.  

Even if it doesn’t feel feasible in the moment, start small - the little tweaks will add up to big wins; you’ll feel a little fresher with every (itty bitty) step toward lightness.

(2) Reflect and learn.

I’ve often found comfort in my safety bubble - my blind optimism, experiencing heavy situations - yet, not fully absorbing the reality.  Well, that strategy catches up with us.

There is so much value in reflecting upon our experiences and learning - finding the opportunity or the good from it for our self development, our growth.

(3) Be fake. 

(giggling aloud as I typed that - stick with me…)

We’ve all heard “fake it ‘till you make it”.  Well, there is actual science backed research that supports this.

One example - when we fake a smile, it ignites our bodies into thinking we are happy.

Push yourself, even if it’s fake initially - to smile, go out and experience something you know you’ll enjoy … daily - surrounding ourselves with positive influence so our bodies retain that feeling and nudge us to build upon.